Well, today, we have a customer who is threatening to "make a formal complaint and report us to the regulator" because of our favourite telco having some blips today on Faraday. These are issues that are (a) outside our control (b) brief (c) affecting all 21CN lines on all ISPs in those areas (d) not unusual for a broadband service.
I am gob-smacked.
He has dived in with the treats from the start...
And then, the same customer is threatening to "make a formal complaint and take us to the regulator" because an email he sent bounced by the recipient mail server.
So this leaves me in the position of trying to tactfully explain that he clearly has a fundamental misunderstanding about the services we offer, and unless we can resolve that misunderstanding we will have to simply terminate services(with the contractual 30 days notice).
In the past I would have dismissed such stupidity.
What concerns me is that he could take it to ADR and get lots of compensation even though we have done nothing wrong. We live in worrying times.
Followup: The customer has kindly emailed saying this is not about the money (compensation) and that if we have wasted his time he will waste ours by taking us to the regulator. This email is proof that any ADR action would be vexatious, so I have saved it, and issued a migration code. What the hell does one do!?!?
Followup: He is not happy that we are terminating his service... What can I say!