I take it the photograph is a UK one, since that's exactly how I remember them from the last time (some years ago now!) that I ate a McDonalds apple pie in the UK?(The long wait before the filling condensed back to a liquid state from the plasma as which it is presumably injected into the sugary shell always deterred me - though come to think of it, with winter approaching and a McDonalds on my walk to the office, perhaps I could buy one on the way then eat it at the desk later, once it's cool enough to avoid burns...)
And until then you can use it as a handwarmer.
I can't tell if Rev is intending a certain amount of tongue in cheek.The "pastry baked thing" sounds closer to the definition of a pie (by dint of being cased in /pastry/) than the UK "apple pie", which would be better described as "apple pie filling in a batter case".