The problem was simple: Debit card expired end of August, and no replacement arrived.
- 1st Sep, having got no new card, I go on-line and try to get replacement card, but system says I cannot get a replacement as I have not "registered an address for this account". I mean WTF? The address has not changed, what is this registering of an address. Only fix was to make a call!
- I called, with DMTF crap and security questions, and was told that a replacement card had been sent and returned "gone away". Hmmm, well, post does sometime go to Enterprise Centre not Enterprise Court, so not impossible.
- So I need to re-instate the address, which involves a shit load more "security questions" to sort out and takes ages.
- Then I find that now the address is sorted the team that can sort a new card is not open yet.
- Another call later, and team that sends the card is there and more security questions and hassle, but they say a card is sent, clearly confirm the address is definitely right, and assure me it will be with me in 2-3 working days.
- We are now a week later and no card, so I call, again. They confirm a card was sent on the 1st, but they cannot track it any more than that so should have arrived - grrr.
- They tell me that I can go in to Ascot and get a replacement printed there and then in 20 minutes.
- I go to Ascot - and they check, and no card has been issued. I clearly have been lied to, twice, telling a card has been sent. Not amused.
- Now they think I have to "apply" for a new card now, and that can only be posted out, not printed in branch. So another lie in sending me to Ascot, it seems.
- However, and this is why the whole lot took 2 hours, the person in Ascot was trying very hard to be helpful and managed to get the relevant team on the phone. They managed to "issue" a new card on the system, which involved a lot more security questions, bearing in mind I was there in the branch with my passport and driving licence already!
- Once issued, they could print the card - yay, so they do that.
- Then, they want me to enter the PIN. Well, this is a chip'n'signature card (or at least it was, I hope the new one is) so whilst it may have a PIN, I don't know it, have never known it and did not need it. Means she cannot give me the card.
- But wait - you can get your PIN on the on-line banking, so I go on there, and she agrees the on-line banking web site is a pain. We find the bit to get the PIN, and it says that we cannot see the PIN as a new card has just been issued - arg!
- So I cannot have the card - the one I can see in front of me! They are sending a PIN, by post, but I will have to go back to the branch with the PIN (and it has to be me!) to get the card. It should only be a couple of minutes this time, apart from the hassle of going to Ascot in the first place.
- Also as the card has been printed, if by some fluke a card arrives in the post then it will not be valid, because the latest card is physically in Ascot.
Why the hell could they not actually have just issued a new card and sent it in 2-3 working days as they said in the first place? Why the hassle? Why the lies? Why wasting 2 hours of my day?