Burying a friend is never good - and I mean standing by the grave as they lower the coffin - that sort of burying. It is all so final. I really cannot get my head around it. I am rational, but still it seems incongruous that he is no more.
The wake was "good" in some sense - there were a lot of people. The church was full and the wake was fuller. He was well liked. John Joseph Maher will be missed.
The service was in a catholic church, and I tried my best not to look out of place. Maybe a third of the people there did not do the communion bit. It was polite to sing the hymns. The eulogy was very good. The multiple unsubstantiated claims of certainty were teeth gratingly annoying, but I was trying to be polite.
He will be missed, and I feel sorry for his family. If belief in sky fairies helps them, then best of luck with that - I do understand. We are all entitled to our own fantasies especially if they help us feel better in a difficult time like this.
Myself, I am still coming to terms with it. John was not really a close friend as such - he came to a dinner for my Birthday last year and I had not seen him since. I recall he tried drinking a framing drink of some sort. It was funny. He died on my birthday this year and that was a shock - we got the call during a dinner that evening in a restaurant. But even so, he was a friend, and he meant a lot to me and to many people I know well.
If it would have not been out of place to take an iPad to any funeral, it would have been John's. He loved gadgets. I did bring my iPad to the wake afterwards but at the funeral I had a turned off phone and no iPad. Rare I know.
Apparently his iPad was invaluable. John was a project manager and had lists and details and contacts and everything on the iPad. His family were able to use it to ensure they managed the funeral and contacted everyone. The fact his phone, only just returned by the police, was synced over the "cloud" to his iPad helped even more.
Even so - a tragedy - only 52 and killed on his motorcycle, not his fault. I know some ask "why?" but why do you think there is an answer and who would answer. At the end of the day shit happens. It is sad.